Friday, August 22, 2008

Confession Time

Okay, I can't believe I'm about to admit this to so many, but I think it's time for confession and accountability. I have what some might say is a sick obsession that I can't seem to break. Oh, and I want to stop, but I find I'm a little weak in this area.

It started several months back (we're talking early spring), when an old friend of mine let me know his current girlfriend was keeping a blog about their relationship. Now in the interest of full disclosure I will admit I had been involved with this "old friend" at one time. It would seem that though we're not meant to be together we're still good friends, in a strange sort of way.

Well, when he first told me about this blog I was curious and thought it would be fun to see what she had to say about their new relationship. My friend made it easy, he gave me the blog address, and I spent some time smiling over new love as I read her gushing entries.

That should have been enough.

I soon found myself adding the blog to my list of other blogs that I check regularly. It was like a soap opera addiction (not that I've ever experienced that), I just had to know what would come next in the saga of their relationship.

Okay, you don't have to tell me, I know full well this is not healthy. What I do have to say to my credit is that I was never jealous or emotional over their relationship. I was more like a detached spectator looking on from the outside.

Actually, at the risk of sounding ugly and mean, reading the blog was like watching a horror movie that you've seen before; you sit in your living room talking to the screen, warning whomever of the dangers you know are coming.

She would write about my old friend, and I would sit there and say, "Oh that's a good thing." or "Oh no, she's in for it now". I also started to get to know this girlfriend of his through her writing. The more I got to know her the more opinions I had about her, both good and bad (once she even made me so upset I didn't read the blog for weeks - she mischaracterized my friend). This I realize is very dangerous, because in all honesty I really don't know her (I mean who doesn't exgerrate from time to time on their blog - it's therapuetic writing - not always factual).

I've read about the good times and the bad times in their relationship. It does seem that through it all they've stayed together, and through it all I've stayed with her blog.

Last evening I was reading that their relationship is better than ever, and I'm really happy for them. I've decided that even though she'll probably continue to blog the details of their relationship I personally have to call it quits. It's time for me to move on and find some other obsession, maybe I'll begin detailing all about cakes. Oh wait, I'm already there :)


Jesse, Christa and Marshall said...

The way I look at it, if they didn't want you to read it, they wouldn't put it out there for everyone to see. Hopefully, the confession helped with your guilt anyway.

Erin Trimble said...

Jenn, this is Erin Trimble. Do you remember me (JJ's wife) from Discovery Christian? I got your blog site address off of Stacey Christensen's new blog, and thought that I would send you a quick note to say "Hi, and I miss you!" You can keep up with JJ and I at our blog site:
Hope to hear from you soon!

Hugs, Erin