Monday, March 30, 2009

Confessions From A Twenty Something...

Every girl should have a best girlfriend. I'm fortunate, I have several, though there is one I've had longer than most, and by rights she hears it ALL from me.

Don't get me wrong, it's not that I'm holding back from everyone else but her. I'm a fairly open person, atleast when it comes to my girlfriends. This one in particular just happens to get the longer version most of the time, and she's comfortable enough around me to give me her advice. And boy do I usually need that advice!

Here I am in my late twenties, and I do believe there are times I could pass for a thirteen year old. During those moments it helps to know there is a more mature, reasoning individual who can stand beside me and offer the wisdom I should already hold as a late twenty something.

For instance, this past week I was dealing with a myraid of emotions concerning work, church, friends, and of course men. My dear friend helped to put it all into perspective with this sound advice, "it's time for a truth session."

Her idea of a truth session is to call, email, meet, or whatever other method of communication works best for you, and lay your feelings on the line. Whether it's about your job, your family, your faith, or your man, you lay the truth out there for someone else to receive.

It wasn't until she offered this advice that I started reflecting on how often I pass along my feelings to my girlfriends, and maybe not where they need to be heard, with the person(s) my feelings concern.

Since I'm somewhat reflective in nature I had to ask myself is this behavior healthy? Is it good to hold your feelings in, or pass them along to a third-party without ever confronting the source? I still don't know the answer to that one.

I will say though, in an effort to test my friend's advice, I've begun sharing my feelings with a few sources (baby steps). I've been really happy with the truth results.

Here's a great example from today at work. I work with someone who is really sensitive to office noise. It impedes her office effiency when she believes others are being too noisy, and I've noticed so far she hasn't hesitated to let us know when she thinks we're being too loud. Well today I wore high heel shoes to work and we have hard wood floors. I was probably up and around the office only about half a dozen times during the day (spent way too many hours behind my desk), but this individual had to comment each time I went walking about.

By the end of the day I was frustrated with her remarks, and in particular her stopping by my office to tell me to invest in all rubber soled shoes so I wouldn't make such a racket. This is normally a situation I would vent to my girlfriends and maybe blog about in a negative way. I'm happy to say, that instead of taking her remarks I actually got my nerve up and confronted her. I informed her that I didn't have the means nor the inclination (I don't like shopping) to purchase all new shoes for my wardrobe, but I would make an extra effort to walk on the balls of my feet hoping to reduce the walking noise.

See, there is hope for me yet. I'm slowly and faithfully learning how to deal with my emotions and reponses in a way that is mature and somewhat on par with my age :) Now if I could only be that honest with the men in my life ;)

1 comment:

Jesse, Christa and Marshall said...

I've always admired those people who have no problem telling you what's on their mind (although some do it in a better way than others). I, on the other hand, am like you and I vent to people not involved in the situation. Which ususally does nothing to solve my problem but it's nice to have someone who will listen. Way to go in actually confronting your problem head on. It's harder than it seems. Recently, I have had such a desire for honesty in all my relationships but it is certainly requiring baby steps on my part. Your post went right along with how I've been feeling lately.